How To Win Friends and Influence people Research Paper

How To Win Friends and Influence people - Research Paper Example He recognizes the power of the human mind that determines the sense of happiness. However, he also warns against criticism, self-centeredness and shallowness and qualifies them as destructive to any relationship. Carnegie foregrounds the negative impact of criticism in human relations because it severely affects the person’s self-esteem and puts him/her in self-defense with the feeling of being attacked. He focuses on how criticism ruins human relationships and recommends leaving it altogether if we want to maintain genuine interpersonal connections: The author informs: â€Å"Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a persons precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment†(Carnegie 23). This violation of the person’s integrity affects their pride and creates a feeling of rejection that deteriorates the relationships between the people. Instead of criticism, Carnegie advocates a diplomat attitude deeply rooted on being positive and rejecting any form of negativity. He gives the example of this famous personality in American history:  "Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? ‘will speak ill of no man,’ he said, ‘ . . and speak all the good I know of everybody’† (Carnegie 29). This change of attitude gave Franklin the opportunity to become one of the greatest men in American history. Therefore, Carnegie associates success to a positive attitude that consists of eliminating anything negative while focusing on the good aspects of people and things. Besides, appreciation represents one of the most important concepts Carnegie recommends to use with the people around us. Getting recognition from family members, friends, employees, co-workers or any others makes people happy, elevate